I owe you a massive apology. For years I punished you for not meeting an imagined standard of perfection. I have starved you, inhaled poisonous toxins to suppress my appetite and look “cool”, pinched you, painfully strapped you in, ripped hair out. I have looked at you in disgust, berated you and been frustrated at your unwillingness to change to my desired ideal. Why did you deserve such treatment? You whose arms have held the people I love, hands that have written and created, feet that have journeyed and explored, and a mouth and tongue that have given “my voice” a platform, eyes that have seen true beauty in this world and ears that have made music a part of my soul. You have always functioned pretty much exactly as I needed you too, more than that you have excelled and yet I chose to treat you with contempt and wished to replace parts of you. That I could be so unkind to you is almost unfathomable to me now.
So what changed? Well you performed something which I believe is a miracle but you view as just a part of what you do. You created a life, you grew that life, you gave birth and then sustained that life completely. When I look at my children I am awestruck that I created them. To me they are perfection, their little hands, smiles, eyes, tummies, toes are the embodiment of beauty. I then imagine them believing that their bodies are not good enough, “pretty” enough or hating themselves in the way that I did and my heart breaks. How could they ever see themselves as anything other than the beautiful beings they are? Then I realised how it must’ve hurt my mother to see me abuse my body the way I did, punishing her perfect creation and I am so sorry again.
Anyone who is not being kind to their body, who is hurting and berating it. Please stop! Your body is your best friend, treat it kindly. Love, nurture and nourish it. You truly are a miracle not a failed #InstaHit. You are capable of all kinds of miracles not just creating life, but performing acts of kindness, helping others, sharing talents, creating, hugging!
I love you body, still not as perfectly as I should but I will keep trying and will continue to nourish and enjoy you. Thank you for every daily miracle you perform.